Why “Just Think Positive” can be harmful and why the TRUTH is better

Here is a dash of EQ (emotional intelligence), the education we needed the most and didn’t get.

One of the statements I have heard over the years is “I am just going to think positive", or “I am just going to choose a positive feeling” or "I don’t want to think negatively".

Somewhere along the way, we learned that feelings were positive or negative. However, from a psychological point of view, feelings are information. Crucial information that we need.

I have often said to my clients and students that if someone needs open-heart surgery, you don’t squirt whipped cream in their mouth to make them feel better, you do open-heart surgery.

We need to know the TRUTH about what we are feeling. If we don’t know our feelings, then what is really happening can’t be attended to which can create another layer of problems.

For example, I had a client who was having panic and anxiety attacks. She told me that she needed to think more positively and let the worries go. While I get what she is saying, the anxiety is crucial information for her. Her body is communicating something that really needs attention. Otherwise, that anxiety will get louder in another way... which is not a good way to go.

When feelings are ignored or denied, they will get louder till we start to listen. If we just try to think positively and ignore feelings that are whispering or screaming at us, then we are actually in a state of negativity as we are in a state of rejection. Compassion and loving attention to what we are feeling puts us in a true state of positivity, not an injection of pink cotton candy to help us feel better... which can actually make us sick if we don’t listen.

Our feelings are gifts trying to help us be happier, stress-free, feel loved, and warn us when something is wrong so we can attend to it.

The truth is important. We didn’t learn how to deal with feelings. We didn’t learn that they are the body’s miraculous way of deepening our happiness and letting us know when things are off.

Your feelings deserve your attention. Your feelings are a miraculous way of communicating when you need help and what you need.